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e - m a i l

November 25, 2006: WELCOME TO MY DOMAIN

Evenin', gentlemen. The name, if you must know, is "The Honorable Reparable Sesquipedalian Massa Sir Lysanderus Majoricus Trimenicus Pluribus Onassis Super-ultra-mecha-Machinus, Jr., IV, Esq." But my friends call me Major.

I'd like to commemorate this momentous occasion of our website-opening with a brief lyric ode, expressed most beautifully and tactfully by the always-eloquent-and-charming rhetorician Mystikal:

SMASHIN THE GAS

ROLLIN THROUGH THE CITY AS FAST AS I CAN

Thank you, Mystikal.

FUN FACTS ABOUT ME OMG!!!!

• It is I who single-handedly created and designed this website. Using simple HTML and some Photoshop, I have crafted a hopefully navigable website.

• Despite my inflated, lofty writing style (which has almost certainly made most of you stop reading by now) and anal-retentiveness about spelling and grammar, I would wager myself nearly as insane as my cohorts (though perhaps not Davidov--he cannot be touched).

• I AM SO POWERFUL AT BATTLE ARENA TOSHINDEN 3, THE GREATEST GAME EVER

I haven't much else to say here, given the nascent, inchoate (BIG WORDS OMFG) state of our website; therefore, I suggest you wander over to my fellows' pages and seek some true entertainment.

Lata.

~Major

P.S: Oh, and don't expect this "blog" of sorts to be some sort of sappy, ridiculous expression of angst. If you're seeking teenage angst, go here.

Copyright (or perhaps copywronged) 2006 UREMOMISAHULKSMASHER UKNITED KORPORATE KONGLOMERATE KOMPANIES INKORPORATED, LTD.

You know what's fun to do? Get one of those giant cookie cake things from the "Great American Cookie" bakeries and get them to write something totally obscene and/or nonsensical on it. Ask them if they'll write "Made in China" or "if You Eat This, You Will Bleed from Every Orifice" or "Get Outta Here, You Siberian Sack of Snake Shit."